The Red Leaf

Or,

What the Uncertain Suitor Sent Back to his Love

I—The Relic

1

Remember this red leaf?
You gave it to me one time, long ago;
(I think you never knew that I would care;
But I did care, my dearest: now you know –
See it lying there?)
I pressed it fondly; (it grew darker though –
Such red is always brief.)

2

Why did it change its hue?
The darling hand that held it is as white,
Those eyes still sparkle just as purely blue
As when they watched it fall a flame of red,
And lent it light;
You caught it up then, tossed it to me, said,
Laughingly, ‘It’s for you.’

3

And how could I have known
The deathless nature of that fiery red?
The leaf has faded, but its soul has grown,
And flames more brilliantly than at the start;
The leaf is dead,
But oh! the red has crept into my heart,
Where it lives ever on.

4

Why did it change its hue?
I think the radiance never was its own,
I think it only borrowed life from you:
Suffused with color from that hand, those eyes,
How brilliant it had grown!
Now kindled in my breast the brilliance lies, –
Moment-wrought, timeless-true.

5

So let me speak: – but stay,
For I would disemburden all my soul:
Will you listen, Becky? I’ve not much to say –
I’ll only take a moment of your time –
There is no risk at all:
For if you care not for my silly rhyme,
It too will fade away.

II—The Memory

1

We played at cards that night, with one
(Remember we were not alone)
To both of us true friend;
I talked with her when night was done,
When play had end.

2

She saw the leaf fall; it was she
Who importuned to talk to me;
I acquiesced: she said
She knew me well, – that she could see
The color spread;

3

That she knew few for whom it’s so,
But could she see that first spark grow,
She would thrill to watch; –
She loved that hand, but could not know
If it would match.

4

These pretty hopes came all unsought:
I stood confused by what they brought,
Those doubtful dreams, to me:
By what I wished, but what I thought
Could never be.

5

And could they – can they ever be?
Can love flame unexpectedly
And set two hearts on fire?
Or did the flame scorch only me –
A vain desire?

6

Answer me, darling! I must know:
May I let the fire grow, –
Or must it be put out?
Only say which, that will I do,
Dear, make no doubt.

III—Restless Thoughts

1

It happened late one night:
We were side by side,
Conversing as we might
To while away the ride;
The atmosphere was light:

2

I think it was in jest:
As you were sitting there
(Perhaps it was not best)
I softly tugged your hair:
You recoiled at the test;

3

I paused; instinctively
My spirit seemed to say,
‘If she shrank to me,
Did not shrink away,
Ah! what would that be?’

IV—An Awakening

1

Bear with me a moment: these restless thoughts darken my mind;
Old memories sap the vitality, stagnate the will;
The red leaf is faded and dead; let it blow in the wind: –
One flame is extinguished, a thousand are blossoming still.

2

Why mourn? The leaf flamed for a moment – that moment is gone:
‘Tis a moment, a part of our lives – it is fled on the wing;
Mourn not, let it go – the decayed leaf can only hang on
Till it’s thrust from its place by the gold bud of hastening Spring.

3

To decay with the leaves of the past, dear – such fate is not ours:
Ours is the Spring! – we are young – let us seize on the store;
Let the leaves flame and fade, blossom crimson, pass by with the hours:
We may yet see the Dawn blossom crimson ten thousand times more.

4

Let us live – let us breathe – let us feel every one of those dawns!
One may laugh (as I laughed), ‘It is vain, we have failed from the start,
Men are pawns.’ But remember, dear Becky, that we are His pawns;
We will live in God’s hand; – let him feast on his own little heart.

5

I too used to rage: ‘I am sick of small minds, feeble hands!
With balanced imbalances, steeped in their blankness from birth,
Everybody’s still saying the dead things that none understands: –
Excellence, deference, image – what’s all of it worth?

6

‘We seize the dead forms of the past – ah, but where is the rest?
The bird’s flown; – we still guard the cage, goaded on by mute fears: –
Move onward! Old man, take your lips off your dead mother’s breast:
You have sucked all you can from a breast that’s been empty for years.’

7

So I raged: but what profit to rage, dear, if never to do?
Idle ragers-at-wrongs are the littlest breed of them all:
Arise! take the wrong, make it right, change the false for the true;
Let us strive, let us do, let us wake to the nobler call.

8

Is there not a cause? We are written in God’s timeless plan: –
We have looked in the fair face of one who has nothing to prove;
We have gazed on the infinite, transcendent God bound in man; –
With all power, all reason to wield it, – he conquered in love.

9

Let us love – we are Christ’s: it is all that we have left to give;
We are pawns in God’s hand – let us thrill to be playing our part;
We are given a lifetime – through ten thousand dawns let us live;
The leaves fade: but the crimson will ever flame on in our heart.

V—Lingering Desire

1

The red flames on:
Gone are those hours that I spent with you, dear, when my heart was light;
Their laughter has fled on the wings of Time, like a bird they have flown;
And the leaf you caught up when it fell, the red leaf that flamed so bright,
It is faded away, its outward form is decayed and gone, –
But the red flames on.

2

Let the red flame!
The slow sands of Time still run, the ceaseless gears still move,
And all things are borne along in the never-ending tide:
Let us dance on the press of Time, dear, tread out the wine of Love!
We will drink the delight of that moment still when Time has died, –
And the red will flame on.

3

The red flames on:
They wandered away, that white hand, and ah! those bright-beaming eyes; –
They are gone, but they still haunt my mind like old familiar refrains,
And my heart, my heart leaps up, and my lonely spirit sighs,
And Time itself takes Love’s harp, and echoes the soul-deep strains, –
And the red flames on.

VI– An Incident

1

I was walking alone through the winter wood,
In the lonely time of year;
And the stark trees stood in the desolate wood,
And they shivered, gaunt and bare:
I was walking and thinking, and all my thoughts
Were thoughts of you, my dear.

2

And the wind came down with a chilling sound,
And the breeze made a chilling moan;
And I walked where the wind came howling down,
And I heard the bare trees groan:
I heard the wind in the lonely wood,
As I walked through the wood alone.

3

The cold winds blew and the snow came down,
And it fell on the frozen ground;
The cold snow fell in the leafless wood,
And it covered the bareness it found:
I walked alone in the chilling snow,
And it stifled the wood’s sad sound.

4

I was walking alone through the winter wood,
And my heart was a leafless tree;
And as I walked through the lonely wood,
The cold snow fell on me:
I walked alone in the wood, all alone,
And the cold wind blew on me.

5

I walked through the wood, and the cold snow fell
On the last late leaf of the wood;
And the wind came down with a moaning sound
On the last late leaf of the wood:
And the lone tree groaned, and the red leaf fell, –
Fell at my feet where I stood.

6

I was in the winter wood alone,
And the last leaf fell from above;
The last red leaf of Autumn fell,
And the coming Spring did prove:
And my cold heart flamed when I saw the leaf,
And my lonely heart did move,
For I knew the red leaf marked the Spring, –
And the Spring was a Spring of Love.

VII—Love’s Song

Tender is that hand,
Pure and snowy white;
Beautiful those eyes,
Beaming oh so bright;
Brilliant are those lips,
Red and ah how rare;
Ivory those teeth,
And how gold that hair!
Colors ’round her swirl
When all else is grey;
When the world is night,
In her look is day;
When the brown leaf fell,
Passionless and tame,
Then she did but glance,
Set the leaf aflame!
When the sea grew dull,
Lost its living sheen,
Dangled in her toes,
Once more turned it green;
When she closed her eyes,
Stars looked down and leapt;
Pale moon turned to gold,
Seeing where she slept!
Becky, look on me!
All my world is grey;
Becky, look on me!
Bathe me in your day;
Ah, my darling, look, –
Drive the gloom away.

VIII—A Final Plea

1

So, Becky, you have heard my rhyme:
If I have taken too much time, –
Be patient, for what can I do
To end a poem begun with you?
Well, – if begun with you (sweet dove),
What wonder if it end in love?

2

O what is love? what can it be
That joins two hearts in unity,
That takes two lives and makes them one;
When all the world is rushing on,
That makes a haven, safe and warm
Amid the all-engulfing storm,
And through all changes does not move,
As strong as death? O is it love
When there is one to whom the soul
Bends constant, as the planets roll
Unceasingly around their Sun?
Is it when there is only one
For whom the sad heart ever yearns,
And follows, as the compass turns
And ever follows its true North?
O is it of a higher worth
(As I have always heard it said)
Than costly rubies, rare and red?
If it be so, dear, let us prove
For all of time, dear, what is love!

3

O what is love? can this be so?
Perhaps, dear, we may never know,
But maybe we can find it out –
Aha! I have the perfect thought;
This pretty question we will prove:
Let’s pretend that we’re in love.
Let us make believe, my dear,
‘Tis only you for whom I care,
That you are all my heart’s desire,
None other whom my soul holds higher;
When troubles come, I’ll calm your fears,
And wipe away your pretty tears;
When nighttime overtakes the day,
Through gloom I’ll help you find your way; –
And when the gloom in my breast lies,
I’ll look for comfort in your eyes:
And I know I will find it there,
For you will love me too, my dear!
O what a pretty game, to prove,
By this sweet trial, what is love!

4

O what is love? let’s make a trial,
Let’s be lovers for a while,
And then, dear, if we like it still,
Let us be in love for real.

5

Let’s not leap into romance,
But may we take a step, perchance?
And after that, – fear not, my friend!
The sum is in our Father’s hand.

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